How to Talk to Your Spouse Who Says You Work Too Much

Strong marriages and relationships require attention from both partners. This balance of attention to spouse versus earning a living or furthering your career can be difficult to find. And, once you have found a balance that works in your relationship, things change and you have to find the balance again.

Why do some people overwork? The Overworking Spouse may be under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive workers are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the other hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage. Of course, we should be involved in work that is worthwhile, fulfilling and financially rewarding but over focus can put the marriage at risk.

What can happen when you put your work/career first? Your spouse may be feeling emotionally disconnected from you and lonely. There may be a buildup of resentment which can lead to anger and finally bitterness-towards you. This situation often leads to unhappiness and discord for the entire family.

As a psychologist who has worked for 20 years counseling couples in my therapy practice in North St. Paul, MN, I met with Amy and Josh with just this complaint. Amy was complaining that she was overburdened because Josh worked too much and left her with the responsibilities of home, children, and her own 40-hour job. He knew she was right but he felt defensive when she tried to tell him how to manage his work schedule. He’d started complaining that when wasn’t very affectionate lately and always blamed her disinterest in their physical intimacy on fatigue. He asked to meet with me individually after Amy had had a session to talk about her “side”of the problem. He was appreciative that she was not as naggy as she had been in the past, but he still felt blamed and criticized.

When Josh and I met, we talked of the reasons that he was spending so much time at work. The usual reasons people overwork is that they are feeling under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive works are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, in their book 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, suggest the following questions:

1.What does your work mean to you?

2.What pleasure or satisfaction does work bring to you?

3.What need does working fulfill in your life?

4.Does your work related to some personal legacy you would like to contribute to the world?

In a discussion with Josh, he pointed out that he was trying to make headway in his career now, while he was still young and had the energy. He knew his wife was doing a good job parenting their two small children (3 years and 9 months) so he wanted to focus on earning good money for his family. At first, he couldn’t understand why Amy was complaining so much because he was doing all this work for her and their children. He felt it was his responsibility. He wanted to provide his children with a fund for their education.

I suggested he consider the questions listed above. He said that his work is very satisfying in that he felt very confident and capable at work. He also wanted to meet his father’s expectations who had had a successful career. His older two brothers had moved from job to job and he knew his father was disappointed that they had difficulty supporting their families.

It was important for Josh to understand the underlying reasons for his excessive hours at work. He did not have a demanding boss and he was in no threat of a layoff. He just wanted to do the right thing. He had not thought of himself as having value over and above that of a worker and wage earner. He resigned himself to have a discussion with Amy. He said he would try to listen carefully about what Amy was longing for when she complained to him. I suggested he try to imagine the experiences she wanted to have with him and not to focus on her criticisms.

When Amy and Josh came for the next couple’s session, they wanted to further discuss the overworking situation. (They no longer saw the problem as residing inside one of them but as a problem the two of them need to figure out.) Any was able to explain to him what she missed when he work so much. He came to get a sense that his contribution to their family was not solely a financial responsibility. He heard her tell him he was also loved, appreciated, and needed as a friend, confidant and co-parent. She especially enjoyed his easy humor with their children and felt he was the only one who would be able to provide that.

This was a difficult issue for this couple and it was not resolved quickly. They were able to discuss their needs and wants in a different way when they addressed the questions about the underlying reasons for their positions.

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Top 11 Reasons to Use Social Media in Business

Over the past few years, to say social media has exploded would be an understatement. Members of social media sites have discovered it's the easiest way to find, learn about, and share information that directly influences their purchasing decisions. It is this reason alone that every business should be on multiple social media sites in an effort to reach as many people as possible.

Below are the top 11 reasons to use social media in business:

  1. Build relationships – personal and professional; connect with all types of people – past and present coworkers, current clients, prospects, vendors, competitors, and marketing professionals to build your network
  2. Share your blog posts; share interesting and useful articles, other blogs, webinars, podcasts, presentations, and poll / survey results with your fan base
  3. Gather valuable information – research similar products / services, competitors, prospects, marketing tips, blog ideas, create your own poll / survey – the amount of information available is endless
  4. Join a social network of like-minded individuals or start a new interest group where you can further brand your product / service, build relationships, and share ideas and information
  5. Stay current with the latest trends – write a blog or join a discussion on a trending topic; become aware of new social media sites that might fit the needs of your business
  6. Land a great new job – using your new connections on various social media sites, you can get the inside scoop on companies that are hiring, as well as resume and interview tips
  7. Discover a new passion in life, become a volunteer, or start a fundraising event
  8. Get found by prospects by using inbound marketing tactics – spread the word about your product / service through social media sites; to form a complete marketing plan, combine this with outbound techniques (interruptive marketing)
  9. Build business reputation and brand – constantly add value to all your posts and become a trustworthy leader in your industry; to quote Bob Burg, "All things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like, and trust."
  10. Build a marketing department inexpensively – for start-ups, employing inbound marketing tactics is a cheap way to start marketing your product / service; most social media sites are free to join, while others have a minimal monthly or annual fee
  11. Help increase conversion rates – use social media and inbound marketing to steer more organic traffic to your website and convert more leads into sales; the average conversion rate is 2.3%, but varies by industries according to ClickZ, Marketing News & Expert Advice, http://www.clickz.com/clickz/column/1691779/benchmarking-average-conversion-rate .

I recommend choosing a useful of sites to manage and start getting your feet wet. Not every social media site available will be right for you or your business and it would overwhelming to try them all. For example, consistently maintaining a blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Google+ pages, a YouTube channel, as well as a Twitter account might be a great place to start. Depending on the type of business, a Pinterest, Tumblr, or Flickr account might or may not be worthwhile, but obviously they are great certain brands.

If you need help getting started, there are countless different types of resources. I have used the An Hour a Day book series on Facebook Marketing, Twitter Marketing, and Social Media Marketing. They address each entity in a step-by-step fashion that is very user-friendly. I also find Hubspot to be extremely helpful. They are continuously publishing user guides that contain valuable information, tips, and tricks. Lastly, when creating your profile on the various social media sites that best fit your marketing plan, it's a good idea to connect with other marketers to check out what they are doing to boost business.

Do you have a tip or trick to share with newcomers to social media? Share it with us; you are more than welcome to post questions and / or comments here!

Cheap Holiday Deals to Stalis Provide Perfect Holidays For All

Family holidays to Stalis are about as popular as couples holidays, beach holidays, 18 – 30′s holidays, and mature holidays to Stalis. In fact, it is difficult to find a group that can’t appreciate holidays spent in Stalis. Greek island holidays seldom have as much to offer visitors as you will find in the resort of Stalis-a resort that offers a little bit of everything you could possibly want from a beach holiday and a little bit more.

First of all, you should check out various package holidays to Stalis. You might be able to learn a little more about the possibilities that holidays to Stalis present for the entire family simply by taking in the long list of package options that are available to you. More importantly, in these economic times, packages are a great way to make cheap holiday deals to Stalis and other locations on Crete.

The nightlife in Stalis is rather lively though not nearly as dominating as the nightlife and club activities are in Malia. Stalis is a more well-rounded option for holiday fun than those resorts that are designed to appeal to party crowds or even those that attract more mature holiday crowds. What you have in Stalis is a healthy mix that makes it a worthy choice for family holidays.

The beaches of Stalis provide excellent opportunities for families that enjoy beach holidays and are content to spend the entire time on the beach. There is much more to this charming resort than a few beaches though so you don’t risk running out of things to do. Popular excursions to enjoy from Stalis include mini trains to Malia, boat trips to Santorini, and the traditional villages that can be found further inland. Greek island holidays are about experiencing the best Greece has to offer. Don’t miss out on the cultural treasure chest waiting for you away from the primary resorts.

Cheap holiday deals to Stalis are a great way to enjoy the very best of Crete. Don’t miss out on package holidays and prices that are lower in price now than they have been in years. Family holidays to Stalis may be the perfect way for you and your family to enjoy Greek island holidays. Make your plans today and you could be enjoying the beautiful views and gorgeous waters of Crete before you know it.

Top 50 Christmas Quotations

  1. "Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years … Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart. " - George Matthew Adams
  2. "The rooms were very still while the pages were softly turned and the winter sunshine crept in to touch the bright heads and serious faces with a Christmas greeting." - Louisa May Alcott
  3. "Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. - Bess Streeter Aldrich
  4. "The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!" - Charles N. Barnard
  5. "Gifts of time and love are certainly the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas." - Peg Bracken
  6. "The earth has grown old with its burden of care But at Christmas it always is young, The heart of the jewel burns lustrous and fair And its soul full of music breaks the air, When the song of angels is sung." - Phillips Brooks
  7. "I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses. " - Taylor Caldwell
  8. "Remember, if Christmas is not found in your heart, you will not find it under a tree." - Charlotte Carpenter
  9. "Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." - Calvin Coolidge
  10. "Christmas, in its final essence, is for grown people who have forgotten what children know." Christmas is for whoever is old enough to have denied the unquenchable spirit of man. " - Margaret Cousins
  11. "Without we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska will not make it 'white'." - Bing Crosby
  12. "Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. faith again. " - Grace Noll Crowell
  13. "It is the personal thoughtfulness, the warm human awareness, the reaching out of the self to one's fellow man that makes giving worthy of the Christmas spirit." - Isabel Currier
  14. "Something about an old-fashioned Christmas is hard to forget." - Hugh Downs
  15. "They err who thinks Santa Claus comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." - Mrs. Paul M. Ell
  16. "Christmas, my child, is love in action." - Dale Evans
  17. "Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal." - Lenore Hershey
  18. "My first copies of Treasure Island and Huckleberry Finn still have some blue-spruce needles scattered in the pages. They smell of Christmas still." - Charlton Heston
  19. "At Christmas, all roads lead home." - Marjorie Holmes
  20. "My idea of ​​Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. - Bob Hope
  21. "The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas." - WC Jones
  22. "A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, but softly gives itself away; While quite lonely, it grows small." - Eva K. Logue
  23. "Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become absolutely alive." - Robert Lynd
  24. "Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." - Hamilton Wright Mabi
  25. "The merry family gatherings – The old, the very young; The strangely lovely way they harmonize in carols sung. For Christmas is tradition time – Traditions that recall the precious memories down the years, The sameness of them all." - Helen Lowrie Marshall
  26. "There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions." - Bill McKibben
  27. "I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month." - Harlan Miller
  28. "Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence." - Joan Mills
  29. "Christmas is, of course, the time to be home – in heart as well as body." - Garry Moore
  30. "What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. - Agnes M. Pharo
  31. "Mankind is a great, an immense family … This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas." - Pope John XXIII
  32. "One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Do not clean it up too quickly." - Andy Rooney
  33. "Christmas – that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intimate that it is like a fragrance. day of remembrance – a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. " - Augusta E. Rundel
  34. "Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone." - Charles Schulz
  35. "As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas bought to be, Christmas is." - Eric Sevareid
  36. "Christmas is the day that holds time together." - Alexander Smith
  37. "Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, our science, our religion." - Ralph Sockman
  38. "Christmas … is not an eternal event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart." - Freya Stark
  39. "Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends." - Margaret Thatcher
  40. "At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year." - Thomas Tusser
  41. "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic." - Unknown
  42. "Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wrought in smiles." - Unknown
  43. "If there is no joyous way to give a festive gift, give love away." - Unknown
  44. "Until one dreams the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display – so much tinsel and decorations. Firelight's glow. It's the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when the Christmas spirit returns again. " - Unknown
  45. "Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year's gifts." - Unknown
  46. "Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world – stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death – and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love ? Then you can keep Christmas. " - Henry Van Dyke
  47. "Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts." - Lenora Matttingly Weber
  48. "Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance – each beautiful, unique and too soon gone." - Deborah Whipp
  49. "Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you. your heart's possessing, Returns to you glad. " - John Greenleaf Whittier
  50. "Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." - Larry Wilde